tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC October 20, 2016 10:34pm-11:37pm CDT
musical guest, green day. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 549! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody! welcome! welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome. thank you very much. thank you, thank you, thank you. welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you made it. [ cheers and applause ] you guys are the show. what a crowd.
[ cheers ] well, yeah. here's what people are talking about. this is very interesting. i heard that yesterday, ivanka trump bumped into rosie o'donnell at a restaurant here in new york. [ light laughter ] she said, "i'm sorry he's so obsessed with you." and ivanka was like, "yeah, i'm used to it." [ laughter ] listen to this. two more playboy videos were uncovered where donald trump makes a cameo. in any other election, a a candidate appearing in three rn campaign, but this year it's just like, "eh, what else you got?" [ laughter and applause ] two more adult films were uncovered that featured an appearance by trump. when asked why it took so long to find them, reporters were like, "we couldn't find anyone willing to google 'donald trump porno.'" [ laughter and applause ] you do it. i don't want to do it. i have kids. you do it. almost can't unsee that stuff.
people mispronounce nevada like "ne-vah-da." yeah. but i think trump might have gotten a little confused when he was pointing that out. listen to what he said. >> we love nevada. nevada. ne-vah-da. and you know what i said? you know what i said? i said, when i came out here -- i said, nobody says it the other way. it has to be ne-vah-da. [ applause ] >> jimmy: "i'd never get it [ laughter ] especially here in las vegas." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "i guess it's like that old saying, you say potato, i say wrong." [ laughter and applause ] trump also talked about his running mate, mike pence's performance at the v.p. debate this week. of course, trump never has been known to exaggerate.
on this one. check this out. >> i'd argue that mike had the single most decisive victory in the history of vice presidential debates. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, but winning the vice president debate is like winning a $2 scratch-off. [ laughter ] it's cool, i guess, but it doesn't change anything. [ applause ] i guess i'm a winner? i don't know. give me another one. donald trump's former accountant is speaki o about trump's 1995 tax returns. here he is giving his side of the story on "inside edition." take a look. >> how involved was donald trump in preparing his taxes? or did he just hand everything over to you? >> no, i did all the tax preparation. he never saw the product until it was presented to him for signature. >> really, this was your idea? >> right, i'm the one who did all the work. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that must have been a a stressful job, because that guy is actually 36 years old.
>> steve: wow, are you serious? 36? >> jimmy: 36 years old. years young. >> steve: yeah. 36 years young. >> jimmy: this week, the white house press secretary was asked about reports of creepy clowns popping up across the nation. i don't like this story at all. [ light laughter ] creepy clowns are popping up across the nation. he said that he wasn't sure if president obama had been briefed on the situation. while joe biden hasn't slept in five weeks. [ laughter and applause ] "you hear a horn? that's a red nose! [ laughter ] this is kind of cool. i read that a growing number of senior citizens are signing up to drive for uber. yeah. personally, i think it's a a great idea. in fact, just to show my support, i'm going to request a a senior uber right now. see if someone picks up. there he is, yeah. milton. [ light laughter ] he's going around at columbus circle -- he missed the turn there. but it's all right. going to go around -- just go down. he's gonna go up that. yep. [ laughter ] oh, he missed the turn again. he just keeps -- he's going in
[ applause ] i'll check in -- >> steve: he'll be here. >> jimmy: i'll check in with him later. i don't know. he'll make it. he'll get here eventually. some celebrity news, here. i saw that susan sarandon just turned 70. [ cheers ] yeah. she says her tips for staying young are to laugh and have sex. then her kids were like, "geez, mom, just blow out the candles." [ laughter and applause ] speaking of 70-year-olds, let check on my driver on uber. milton. he's in the grand canyon. [ laughter ] what the heck? milton. cancel. [ applause ] this is the stupidest thing. cancel. i can't even cancel. four stars! [ light laughter ] i showed milton. >> steve: you showed him. >> jimmy: i showed him. i showed him what's what. this is kind of crazy, you guys. a southwest airlines flight in kentucky had to be evacuated on the runway yesterday after someone's samsung galaxy phone started smoking in the cabin. even the guy eating a tuna fish
that thing on a plane." [ laughter and applause ] "that's rude!" [ light laughter ] this is pretty controversial, here. a new dad in utah is claiming that the hospital billed him an extra $40 for holding his baby right after he was delivered. that's why my dad said, "i just stayed around the bar around the corner." [ laughter and applause ] he didn't say that. i screwed that joke up anyway. yeah. what was the joke? what was the punchline? yeah, that's it right there. the baby was delivered and then my dad said, "that's why i just stayed at the bar around the corner." yeah. [ laughter and applause ] ?? [ laughter ] that's funny. yeah. that's funny.
[ horn noise ] that gets a three air horn. >> steve: that joke gets four stars. >> jimmy: let me just try it one more time. [ light laughter ] i think this time's going to work. >> steve: this time it's gonna work. >> jimmy: here we go. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. this is a pretty controversial. [ laughter ] >> steve: what happened? claiming that a hospital billed him an extra $40 for holding his baby right after he was delivered. $40. >> steve: oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: then my dad said, "that's why i just stayed at the bar around the corner." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> steve: winner!
faith hill and tim mcgraw are joining this season of "the voice" as advisors. [ cheers ] so far, the only advice they've given is, "don't eat the brownies in miley's dressing room." [ laughter and applause ] there you go. we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? [ >> jimmy: thank you very much, roots. we had a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, our pal, tyler perry will be here, ladies and gentlemen. we love him. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: plus, abigail spencer and van morrison will be here tomorrow night. >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: also, thank you notes. but we have an unbelievable show tonight. this guy is the best. he's talented, hilarious, hardworking. his new movie, "the accountant", is in theaters next friday. ben affleck is here! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ]
>> steve: love that man. >> jimmy: every time he comes on, we always have fun. ben's going to tell us all about his new movie, "the accountant." then he and i are going to do some acting together in a bit called "kid theater." it's gonna be good. plus, she just won the emmy for her amazing portrayal of marcia clark in "the people v. o.j. simpson: american crime story." she's unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] i want to give her more awards. just for that. >> steve: she's brilliant. >> jimmy: but she's great in everything she's in. she now stars in the new film "blue jay" and the new season of "american horror story." sarah paulso d sarah paulson is dropping by. >> steve: come on. that's it, right? that's the whole show. >> jimmy: that's it. you don't need anymore show. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: but we have more show. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: we have music from one of the coolest, best, loudest, awesomest bands on earth. green day is here! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] come on! wow. >> jimmy: love those dudes. green day.
here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ? hashtags hashtags ? >> jimmy: there we go. are you guys on twitter? anyone using twitter out there? [ cheers and applause ] we use twitter on our show every single week, so if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i will send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since the vice presidential debate was earlier this week, and things got pretty heated, i went on twitter and started a a #mydumbargument. and i asked you guys to tweet out a funny, weird, or stupid argument that you've had. we got thousand of tweets. within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u.s., so thank you for those tweets. [ cheers and applause ] they're good. so right now, i thought i'd share some of my favorite #mydumbargument tweets from you guys. here wo go. this first one's from @kristenrose124. she says, "one time my parents got into a fight because my dad tried to convince my mom that his leg cramp was as painful as childbirth."
not going to win that one, dude. >> steve: that's not good. >> jimmy: this one's from @1rsmadunicorn. [ light laughter ] >> steve: uh-oh. uh-oh. >> jimmy: he says, "my friend's definition of a boy band is any band that consists of boys. she tried to convince me that metallica is one too." [ laughter and applause ] no, that's not true. i guess so. no. they're not a boy band. this one's from @nikkigbo. she says, "caught in a traffic jam. yelled at a guy, 'you have a a nice day!' he yelled back, 'no, i won't have a nice day!'" [ laughter ] well, thank you. well, no, thank you! [ light laughter ] good day to you, sir. [ slap ] the old -- >> steve: the old switcheroo. >> jimmy: the switcheroo, yes. this one's from @philborgenicht? borgenicht? someone know how to pronounce that? [ light laughter ]
>> jimmy: his name's in, like, reverse. it's backwards. borgenicht. >> steve: borgenicht. borgenicht. [ speaking backwards ] [ laughter ] [ speaking backwards ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: put my game down flip it and reverse it. ?? >> jimmy: my name's phil borgenicht. [ cheers and applause ] phil borgenicht. >> steve: borgenicht. >> jimmy: borgenicht. >> steve: borgenicht. >> jimmy: borgenicht. he says, "my friend and i once fought over whether mr. monopoly and the pringles guy were brothers." [ laughter ] oh, well that's -- they look related. >> steve: could be. >> jimmy: that's a legit argument. this last one's from @bphil7. he says, "my friend once insisted that the beach boys song 'barbara ann' was really called 'bob moran.'" [ laughter
your car insurance policy is 22 pages long. did you read every word? no, only lawyers do that. so when you got rear-ended and needed a tow, your insurance company told you to look at page five on your policy. did it say "great news. you're covered!" on page five? no. it said, "blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah..." the liberty mutual app with coverage compass? makes it easy to know what you're covered for and what you're not. liberty stands with you. liberty mutual insurance. ? oh ? ? with a little bit of uh uh, and a little bit of ? ? i said, it's getting hot in herre ? new limited edition cherry from lime-a-rita. the bold margarita. when i was a little kid, i made a deal with myself that i would never grow up. we met when we were very young... i was 17, he was 18.
?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a big-time movie star and multiple academy award-winning writer and film maker. he stars alongside anna kendrick in a very entertaining new movie called "the accountant," which is in theaters next friday. please welcome back to our [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> jimmy: come on. they love you. always good to see you, pal. ?? >> always a pleasure to be here. >> jimmy: looking sharp, buddy. looking sharp. >> thank you very much.
>> just trying to show respect for the show. >> jimmy: we're going to do a a bit later in the show called "kid theater" and i thought it was kind of fun to show something -- a clip of you as a a kid because you were an actor as a child. >> i was. i did do some child acting. i wasn't like the child actor, who, you know, luckily, i didn't end up on the show and get famous and go on crack and go crazy. [ laughter ] yu know what i mean? >> jimmy: you actually had a a childhood. >> i had a normal childhood, and my mother let me go do this thing and then forced me to come home. it was a pbs series called "voyage of the mimi." it was for kids. you ow >> jimmy: "voyage of the mimi." >> you're laughing, but it's not a joke. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's very available on youtube. yeah. >> you can find it. >> jimmy: you can find it, yeah. "the voyage of the mimi." >> combining science and math topics with an interesting adventure. the young man -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you're really selling it hard, yeah. >> i still feel like i have to pitch it. >> jimmy: but you were traveling with a fisherman or something? what's the deal? he's your best friend? >> no, he's my grandpa. >> jimmy: i thought it was like "sling blade." you meet up -- like a
>> it was "sling blade" on a a boat. >> jimmy: he meets up with a a little kid and it becomes -- "you're my best friend." [ laughter ] you start cruising around together, you and the fisherman. >> it was awesome. yeah. it was a lot of fun. >> jimmy: i want to show a clip here of a young ben affleck. on the "voyage of the mimi." i forget what episode this was. >> anyhow, remember what ramon said about whales' ancestors living on the land? well, you know, i found that kind of hard to believe, so i came here to see what i could learn. i wanted evidence, and i anywhere, it would be at the natural history section of the smithsonian. ?? [ vocalizing ] >> that was before i had testicles. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, you didn't have them yet. >> they were not -- you could -- [ laughter ] i used to wonder why i -- i'd get all mad at the operator and be like, "i'm not a woman!" they would say, "sorry, ma'am."
it was really hahd to find -- [ light laughter ] >> it was hahd to see -- >> jimmy: it was hahd to see that whale. >> a whale was going really fah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but look at you now, man. your just crushing it. i know you're doing justice league and the batman and this is "the accountant." >> this is "the accountant," yeah. >> jimmy: this is -- what an interesting movie. i had no idea where this was going or what this was about. i go, "how is he going to make this movie about an accountant?" i don't know how -- >> and yet it turned out to be entertaining. it sounds like the most boring movie you d >> jimmy: i thought it was you were just gonna crunch numbers. i go, "okay, i mean --" dude, he's -- like an action-packed. i mean, this is -- >> it's fun. that's why i wanted to do it. i read it. i totally thought i could see it coming and it's got all these surprises and a lot of twists and turns and it changes sort of genres. a little bit of a thriller and an action movie. kind of a drama and, yeah, i really like it. >> jimmy: but also you -- you have asperger's in the film so it's a very interesting character to play. because you can't -- you don't really --
>> yeah, that was actually something where i kind of felt like i had to do some research, you know what i mean? i ended up meeting with a lot of people who were on the spectrum and experts and reading stuff and just getting a lot of stories and anecdotes and people, they were really actually psyched that i was making -- we'll call it an autistic superhero movie so it was completely awesome. it was really inspiring. >> jimmy: i want to show a a scene, here. is there anything else you want to set that up? >> well i have this like -- this is when she comes into my -- yeah, okay. >> jimmy: all those bad guys. >> they're -- we're being chased, who's awesome in the movie, and i have this, like, secret trailer, basically, where i -- where he keeps all his stuff if he needs to run away at a a moment's notice. >> jimmy: his rv. >> his rv, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, i'm obsessed with the airstream, i've been talking about it forever. i want to do an rv -- >> it's awesome. i bought the airstream that i -- that's in this movie because i love it so much. >> jimmy: i love that thing too. >> you can come over any time. [ laughter ] it's my -- i love it. >> jimmy: do you travel around with it? >> no i don't travel -- i use it as a trailer for when i do a a movie. and i don't -- yeah, i go in that.
>> the guys hitch it up and drive it right to the next location. it's amazing. >> jimmy: fantastic. i totally want to hang with you. [ laughter ] >> now he wants to hang out with me. >> jimmy: no, i do. i always want to hang out with you. you know who else? will smith also is into rvs. >> really? >> jimmy: and he's been talking about going on vacation with me for years. [ laughter ] >> has he really? haven't gotten around to it. >> jimmy: not really. not really. he's very busy. >> yeah. he's in a lot of movies. >> jimmy: yeah but me, you, and will smith, we'll bring the families, go and get in an rv. >> i don't know. i mean, we could bring my family but just my three kids in that rv is a whole lot. >> jimmy: i got two. >> in the airstream, it feels like nine. it's like dog years. >> jimmy: do you have dogs or pets? >> i have two dogs also, yeah. >> jimmy: bring them along too. >> i love this idea. >> jimmy: this is fun. >> is the band coming? >> jimmy: yes, the roots are invited. they can all come. [ cheers and applause ] roots -- we can fit them all in there. >> i would love it. >> jimmy: this scene is not the rv scene. >> it's not. >> jimmy: no. this is the scene -- [ laughter ] you're going to have to go to theaters for that. this is the scene where you're
>> oh, this is the action scene. that's right. i'm used to -- because we promote it in the daytime, they can't show action clips. >> jimmy: oh, we can show action. >> but the night time -- >> jimmy: oh, please. we can show action. we're all about action. [ cheers and applause ] this show -- this show is in 3d. >> i can tell. people at home. look! coming at you! >> jimmy: they're freaking out. whoa! freaking out. they pay big money for this stuff. this is a vr, brand-new, state of the art show. >> it's amazing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> seems very lifelike. >> jimmy: yeah, you seem totally real. [ laughter ] you understand? >> i'm the curve tv. >> jimmy: yes, exactly. you're the curve tv. you're the virtual reality. you're not even here. okay, but this clip is. these bad guys break into and they're going to try to kill anna kendrick, and she just knows you as the accountant. boy, does she see the other side -- [ laughter ] -- of the accountant. here's ben affleck. check it out.
>> stay down! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about! "the accountant"! [ cheers ] that's what i'm talking about. it's going to be big. are you ready to read some movie scenes written by children? >> i'm psyched. yeah, i have experience doing that. >> jimmy: yeah. ben affleck and i are acting out some kid theater after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
go, go! [ rock music playing ] have fun with your replaced windows. run away! [ grunts ] leave him! leave him! [ music continues ] brick and mortar, what?! [ music continues ] [ tires screech ] [ laughs ] [ doorbell rings ] when you bundle home and auto insurance with progressive, you get more than a big discount. that's what you get for bundling home and auto! jamie! we're gonna live forever! she saw the boots and fell for fall all over again. was she expecting to find the perfect designer boots at such an amazing price? no. but that's the beauty of a store full of surprises.
when cold and flu hold you back try theraflu expressmax, now in new caplets. it's the only cold & flu caplet that has a maximum strength formula with a unique warming sensation you instantly feel. theraflu. for a powerful comeback. new expressmax caplets. ?? this is eric gibson. he and his wife briana made the bold decision to buy their home four months ago. and even though they have no idea what the future has in store for them, they bought into a 30-year mortgage anyway. because they weren't just thinking about their future...
?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're hanging out right here with ben affleck, everyone. his new movie -- [ cheers and applause ] -- "the accountant" is in theaters october 14th. now, i've seen the movie. it's great, you're fantastic in it. it got me thinng know, i want to see what you got. >> okay. >> jimmy: so i was thinking maybe we could perform a few scenes from "the accountant" right now. does that sound cool? >> that sounds great. >> jimmy: alright, good. perfect. [ cheers and applause ] but here's the catch. the scenes you'll be reading are not from the actual movie. they were all written by elementary school kids. [ light laughter ] and we gave them no direction, just the title "the accountant." and let them do the rest. it is time for "kid theater." [ cheers and applause ] ? kid theater
>> jimmy: all right. here we go. >> all right. >> jimmy: this first one -- this first one is from christine. she's 9 years old. ben, you'll be playing the role of little boy, and i'll be playing the role of little girl. >> i can do that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: higgins will read the descriptions for us. thanks, higgins. whenever you're ready. >> steve: a little girl and a a little boy are talking on the beach. ?? >> jimmy: i think it's on a a bench. >> steve: bench. [ laughter ] >> he had one job. >> jimmy: you had one job. >> steve: one thing. he told me one thing. >> jimmy: you've gotta set the scene. you set the scene, little girl and a boy are talking on a a beach. that's not true. >> totally changes the plot. >> jimmy: totally different movie. [ talking over each other ] >> steve: exactly. it's "the accountant." >> jimmy: haven't you seen the -- >> steve: yeah, you're right. i messed it up. my bad. [ laughter ] it's on a bench. it's on a bench. >> jimmy: okay. >> all right. >> steve: a little -- a little girl and a little boy are talking on a bench. >> good. ??
be when you grow up? >> either an astronaut or an accountant. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how will you decide? >> well, i really want to wear an astronaut helmet, but i also want to use a calculator. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a tough decision. >> i know. >> jimmy: wait, i got it. >> got what? >> jimmy: you should be an accountant who wears an astronaut helmet. >> seriously? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: the little girl grows up and becomes an astronaut accountant and the little boy grows up and becomes an accountant astronaut. they bump into each other on the moon. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: whoa! >> whoa! [ applause ] >> steve: they laugh for a long time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love you. >> i love you too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and scene.
it sould have been on a beach. >> steve: would have been better. >> jimmy: yeah. the sequel, they're on the beach. [ light laughter ] this next one was sent in by steven. he is 8 years old. for this one, i'll play the role of boy, and you'll play the role of dad. >> great. >> jimmy: higgins, could you set the scene, please. >> steve: yes. a boy walks into his dad's office. the dad is writing things on a a computer for work. [ light laughter ] ?? >> jimmy: hi, dad. >> hi, kevin, i'm working. do you want to play baseball? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what about basketball? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what about soccer? >> no. >> jimmy: are there any other sports? >> no. >> jimmy: well, what are you working on? >> the stock market. [ laughter ] how was school? >> jimmy: good.
>> yeah, you too. see you at home for dinner. [ laughter ] >> steve: the boy is about to leave and then the dad stops him. >> wait, kevin, one more thing. can i have a hug? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] just kidding. yes. >> steve: the boy and the dad hug for five seconds. they count the numbers out loud. >> together: one, two, three -- three -- four -- >> steve: all right. save it for the airstream. come on. >> jimmy: and scene. [ cheers and applause ] five seconds. all right. do one more. we're going to do one more. this one was sent in -- >> can't get this anywhere else. just on this show, folks. that's it. >> jimmy: this one was sent in by chris. he's 7 years old. ben, you'll be playing steve. i'll be playing the role of
higgins, set the scene, please. >> steve: two accountants sit at a dinner table. ?? >> i love numbers so much. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: me too. i went -- your voice -- >> you're an older kid. >> jimmy: yeah, older. roger's a little bit older. [ laughter ] me too. on the count of three, let's say our favorite numbers. [ light laughter ] >> awesome. >> jimmy: one, two, three. >> 41. >> jimmy: eight. >> what's so great about eight? >> jimmy: what's so great about 41? >> do you want to fight me? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes. right now. >> steve: steve and roger stand up, and put up their fists. >> jimmy: wait. what are we doing? we're accountants. we promised to never fight other accountants. [ laughter and applause ] >> of course. the accountant's oath. >> steve: roger and steve hold their hands to the heart and
>> together: we, the great accountants of america, promise to never fight other accountants. and most importantly, all numbers are the best. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: 41 isn't so bad, steve. >> neither is eight. let's do the special accountant handshake. >> steve: roger and steve shake hands in a super special way. >> uh oh. [ laughter ] all right. >> jimmy: all right. >> that's special. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's special. >> i love being an accountant. >> jimmy: i love being your friend. [ audience aws ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's acting! that's my man ben affleck! check out "the accountant" in theaters october 14th. we'll be right back with sarah paulson! [ cheers and applause ]
can lead to one monumental mishap. not with ziploc easy open tabs. because life needs ziploc. sc johnson. is that ice-t? nope, it's lemonade. is that ice-t? lemonade. ice-t? what's with these people, man? lemonade, read the sign. lemonade. read it. ok. delicious. what's not surprising? how much money marin saved by switching to geico. yo, ice-t! it's lemonade, man!
i use metamucil because no one can beat it for regularity. my... secret weapon. because metamucil gives you more health benefits than the competition. no wonder it's the #1 doctor recommended fiber brand. i'm russ feingold and i approve this message. on healthcare, russ feingold will work with both parties to lower premiums and cut health care taxes. i want to do
the hard work of improving the system so it works for middle class families. but in washington, senator ron johnson sides with big insurance.
?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an emmy award winning actress starring in the new film "blue jay," which opens in select theaters tomorrow and worldwide october 11th on itunes and other digital on demand platforms. you can also see her in the new season of "american horror story" wednesdays at 10:00 p.m. on fx. here's the very lovely, the very talented sarah paulson! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ??
a little air guitar jam. >> yeah, and there was not even an air guitar happening. >> jimmy: no, not at all. >> but i like to bring it in always. >> jimmy: yeah, why not? bring an air guitar. >> a little accompaniment. yeah. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. thank you for coming to the show. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: i am a giant fan, as everyone is out here. congrats. [ cheers and applause ] we're gonna talk about your film, "blue jay," i want to talk about "american horror story," but we have to talk about "the people v. o.j." man, oh man. you were just unbelievably great -- >> thank you. >> jimmy: and made -- [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: and made me see marcia clark in a whole new way. >> yeah, i think everybody felt that way, which was great for marcia. >> jimmy: yeah -- >> she deserved it. >> jimmy: you took her to the emmys, which i thought -- >> i did. >> jimmy: which was super cool. >> my boob's, like, hanging out in that picture. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry about that. i apologize. >> that's why you're showing it. >> jimmy: no, i'm not showing it! i swear. >> look at this picture of marcia and sarah. and some boob. >> jimmy: ooh. wow. whoo! yeah, but now i can't even look at the photo. [ light laughter ] but you -- i thought it was
>> thank you. >> jimmy: and i don't know if you could feel it but everyone was like, just please say sarah paulson. >> oh, my god. no one felt that way more than i did. i was really hoping they were going to say it. >> jimmy: really? >> well, just because i wanted an opportunity to stand there and say what i said to marcia on behalf of america, i think, to just say, we're sorry for getting it so wrong. >> jimmy: yeah, gosh. >> it was a surreal experience, the whole thing, though, let me tell you. >> jimmy: right? >> just like having her there, going up there, they hand you the emmy, brian cranston's like, here, you're going to want this envelope which your name is on. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a cool thing. >> yeah, it's suco someone's, like, hi, i'm going to need that. and i was like, what? my emmy? and they're like, yeah, yeah, that's a prop. >> jimmy: it's a fake one, yeah. >> yeah, and i was like -- >> jimmy: you didn't really win an emmy. >> you didn't really win it, yeah. and i ended up having a dream two nights later that kerry washington actually won. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i did not win and they were like, we're going to need that award back. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> and i would wake up in the middle of the night and look over at my desk where i keep it right in the line of sight and there it was. it was very nice. >> jimmy: i was even thinking for the o.j. thing, like, acting with that wig and the mole.
>> yeah. >> jimmy: no, that would have drove me -- >> i was like, also, you should have seen what it was like to try to put that thing on in the morning if the trailer was shaking. they had a tiny little box with like 18 different moles, and then someone would take a a tweezer and they'd be like, please nobody move! nobody move! you'd be like, oh, damn. >> jimmy: we got to do it again. yeah. >> it was great. >> jimmy: it was just -- anyways, i thought it was fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: let's talk about "american horror story." >> yeah. >> jimmy: you say there's a a twist coming up that is going to blow people's minds. >> i think the word i might have used is nutty bobo nut town. >> jimmy: whoa! wow. no one says that. >> no one ever says that. >> jimmy: no. that's how -- and i don't know why. nutty bobo nut town >> nutty bobo -- nutterton mcnutterton mcnutterson. >> jimmy: a collect phone call from nutty mcnutterson. i will accept. >> you will. >> jimmy: i will accept. >> 'cause you know -- >> jimmy: i want to -- my mind would be -- >> you'll know it's me. >> jimmy: yeah, i'll know it's you and i want my mind to be bent in two so i can understand what's going to happen. >> something really, really -- i mean, i'm not trying to oversell -- >> jimmy: no, i know. >> oversell it because there's an enormous thing that comes
later too. it's really -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're going to have to come out for -- >> i can't tell anybody! >> jimmy: for the second one. >> yeah, and then i'll talk to you about that one. >> jimmy: alright, good, good, good. let's talk about "blue jay" now. >> yeah. >> jimmy: 'cause this is a cool idea and i go -- i see these movies and i go, i wish i had thought of that idea and just wrote that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: 'cause i think everyone's -- it's about these high school sweethearts. >> yeah, high school sweethearts, who just -- >> jimmy: that just see each other -- >> yeah, after years and years, 20 years, i think. >> jimmy: yeah, it's not a a facebook thing. >> no. >> jimmy: they actually see each other. [ laughter ] >> yeah, we actually see each other in person. >> other in person. >> and it's really awkward at first and then we kind of have a beautiful 24 hours together where we revisit what went wrong and what was right and then we don't know what happens. it's a nutty bobo nut town. >> jimmy: no, that's not. no it's not nutty bobo nut town -- >> no, no. >> jimmy: but i want to show a a clip. it's beautiful. here's sarah paulson in "blue jay." take a look at this. >> right. stretch it out. >> are you kidding me? are you kidding? could we please get on with the rub. i've waited a very long time for this. >> you can't rush greatness,
take it easy, alright? if you want to experience the ancient art of phrenology, you really need to wait and get it done right. >> come again? >> well, if you had seen "men at work," the classic charlie sheen/emilio estevez film from 1990, you would know. it's when you, you know, feel and interpret someone's skull features and you kind of see what's going on in there. so i get up in here, and i say, see that knot right there? that says you're a terrible cook. you're [ bleep ] >> shut up. im [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is a -- come on. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we just love you. we love you on here and everything. also, i hate putting people on the spot and i -- >> oh, but you're going to. >> jimmy: yeah, i am. but no, in a good way, though. i heard that you know the words to "shoop." by salt-n-pepa. >> you're not going to make me do that. >> jimmy: please, no, it's just that -- here's the deal. we do have a microphone, here. >> oh, my god! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and the roots can play it. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: just, come on. >> okay. >> jimmy: wait, do you do this at karaoke?
? you're packed and you're stacked especially in the back brother ? ? wanna thank your mother for a butt like that can i get some fries with that ? ? shake shake boobie if looks could kill you would be an uzi you're a shotgun ? ? bang what's up with that thang i wanna know how does it hang straight up ? ? wait up hold up mista lova my friends say you're a sexy motha ? ? well i like em real wild b-boy style by the mile smooth black skin with smile bright as the sun ? ? i wanna have some fun come and give me some of that yum-yum chocolate chip ? can i get a scoop baby take a ride in my coupe you make me wanna shoop shoop ba doop ? >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about right there! [ cheers and applause ] come on! sarah paulson, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ?? we'll be right back with music from green day. stick around, everybody.
a nuclear missile launch officer. if
the president gave the order, we had to launch the missiles. that would be it. i prayed that call would never come. self control may be all that keeps these missiles from firing. i would bomb the [ beep ] out of 'em. i want to be unpredictable. i love war. the thought of donald trump with nuclear weapons scares me to death. it should scare everyone. i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message.
o get a repair estimate. i just snapped a photo and got an estimate in 24 hours. my insurance company definitely doesn't have that... you can leave worry behind when liberty stands with you? liberty mutual insurance ? ? ?thunder? ? ?thunder? ? ? ?thunder? my mother passed 2003, but she always told me i don't care if you turn out to be a great athlete or whatever but, you need to make sure you get your college degree. sometimes i call the house, just to hear her voice. (phone ringing) answering machine: hi, leave a message after the beep.
i fulfilled the promise that you held me to. love you. (beep) i am benedict arnold, the infamous traitor. and i know a thing or two about trading. so i trade with e*trade, where true traders trade on a trademarked trade platform that has all the... get off the computer traitor! i won't. (cannon sound) mobility is very important to me. that's why i use e*trade mobile. it's on all my mobile devices, so it suits my mobile lifestyle and it keeps my investments fully mobile... even when i'm on the move. sign up at etrade.com and get up to six hundred dollars. ?? ?? ??
? bang bang give me fame shoot me up to entertain i am a semi-automatic ? ? lonely boy you're dead i'm well-fed give me death ? ? or give me daddy's little psycho and mommy's little soldier ? ?? ? i testify like a lullaby of memories broadcasting live and it's o ? i got my photo bomb i got my vietnam i love a lie just like anybody else ? ? bang bang give me fame shoot me up to entertain i am a semi-automatic ? ? lonely boy you're dead i'm well-fed give me death or ? ? give me broadcasting from my room and playing with my toys i want to be a ? ? celebrity martyr
the leading man in my own private drama ? ? hurrah bang bang hurrah bang bang the hero of the hour daddy's little psycho ? ? and mommy's little soldier i want to be a celebrity martyr the leading man ? ? in my own private drama hurrah bang bang hurrah bang bang the hero of the hour ? ? daddy's little psycho and mommy's little soldier ? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! come on! thank you, oh! come on! oh, oh, oh! and you get a car, and you get a car, and you get a car! "revolution radio," green day! [ cheers ] catch them on tour in the u.s. now. we'll be right back! oh, gosh, that's how you do it! [ cheers and applause ]
?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to ben affleck, sarah paulson, green day, once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
[ cheers and applause ] ?? >> announcer: from the warner theater in washington d.c., it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- lena dunahm, stars of the broadway show "oh hello," nick kroll and john mulaney, featuring the 8g band with thaddeus dixon, corey glover, and vernond. ?? [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night" from the warner theater in washington, d.c. how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right. we are so very honored and excited to be here. and let's get to the news. donald trump tweeted earlier